i come from a culture that holds the line in such reverence. there is the whole aspect of thiking linearly. that is, our logic and thought-patterns-within-the-realm-of-acceptibility include things thought of one after the other, as opposed to considering many things at a time; or, instead of seeing time as all taking place at once, we believe things happen after the last thing that happened.
this manifests itself in the way we wait for things. have you ever seen people "line up" for a bus in a place whose people do not believe so staunchly in linear thinking? we would term it 'chaos', though all who can do get on the bus. but there is usually a mob outside, you will be pushed, and nobody will respect your positioning.
in our society, on the other hand, there is not only the reverence held for linear thinking, and for the civilizing effects and implications of waiting on lines themselves, but there is also this horrible capitalist mindset so often misused by those in power, but also by those not in power. you know the type: they get a little money and then feel better than you. they invent new classes for themselves: upper-middle, etc. still they live check to check, but since that check is a bit bigger than yours, they no longer want to shop at certain places or talk a certain way. its happened too many times to have to get into here. point is, people have meshed linear thinking with capitalism and the effects have been to have a society of people who always want to be taking the next step, often times without a destination in sight.
when there is a destination in sight, people act terribly. for example, at the bank or post office or airport, or going to see david blane, or some other horrible place where you have to wait on line (i wont count a club here, though the same principle applies, but people are a little drunk and their sense of time a bit warped, and their willingness to mob instead of line a bit stronger - until the bouncer comes by to correct you), do you ever notice the idiotic tendency for people, once a person gets called to the teller, to shift up one spot? what is that about? and people always do it. even if they are at the airport and have a million bags, they will pick up all one million of those bags each and every time a person get s called to the teller, only to shift up 8 inches each time. ive always found that if you are on line and you do not participate in this asinine ritual, the people behind you feel as though you are relinquishing your spot on line and find it ok to try to move past you. now i love making myself big so no-one can move past me and then looking back to see the confusion and frustration on the faces of the people behind me, aghast that i have not shifted up 8 inches.
over the years i have developed a policy that i think you should adopt. now, it is no good to have a line that starts all the way 1,000 feet away just because one person did not want to move, but i dont think lines need to be constantly updated and pressed up to the front. however, i do believe that a person in line should never shift forward unless there is enough room between said person and the person in front of said person so that said person can walk up to the back of person in front of said person. not shift. this way, lines can be a more pleasant experience, devoid of the decadent optimism that comes with the 8 inch shift towards your goal. your position in line does not change because of your physical positioning. your position in line changes because of your numerical position (1st, 2nd, 3rd, etc.). this is not a mob, not a line, but a line with breaks. a line with time to read a book. not time is lost, but space is changed...
Thursday, May 25, 2006
Sunday, May 21, 2006
geneve
these are the rules to geneve.
i was playing it this weekend when i found that i needed faster access to the rule book.
also, this is adapted from an email i sent.
the goal of the game is to have less points than everybody else.
each card is worth its face value.
face cards are worth 11,
and
jokers are worth whatever you want, including, but not limited to 0.
you need 4 people in order to make the game any fun.
you can play with 5, but if more, you can use 2 decks.
deal 5 cards to each person.
flip top card of rest-of-deck over for possible use by the first person.
place this card next to rest-of-deck.
for the first round, the person left of the dealer goes first, but in subsequent rounds, the rules are more complex. we will get to that...
each player must discard a card AND THEN take a card to complete a turn (the order must be obeyed so as to avoid cheating and to preserve the aestheticly pleasing aspect of the game).
you may discard 1 card at a time, 2 cards of the same nominal value, or a run of 3 or more cards of the same suit.
discard cards, face-up, on the pile next to the undealt cards.
when drawing a card, a player may choose from the face-down pack of undealt cards, or the face-up pile of discarded cards.
if choosing from the face-down pack of undealt cards, a player may only choose the top card.
if choosing from the face-up pile of discarded cards, the player may only choose from the cards discarded by the previous player.
if the previous player threw down 1 card, the next player can choose that card.
if the previous player threw down doubles, the next player can choose either of those cards. however, if the previous player threw down a run, the next player may choose only the first or the last of that run.
for example, if a player throws down a run of 5, 6, joker, 8, then the next player may only pick up the 5 or the 8.
so the game goes on like this, with people hopefully getting rid of their high cards and gathering low cards; until...
if a person finds themselves with 11 or less (thus avoiding kamakaze cards) points in their hand, and feels that they have less points than everyoneelse, this person should, in their regular turn when they would make a play, display their cards while triumphantly screaming, "geneve".
at this point,all players count their cards and a scorekeeper logs these numbers.
if the person who screamed geneve had the lowest total, they get 0 points.
however, if the person who screamed geneve doesnt have the lowest score (including ties), 30 points are added to their existing score and the person who does have the lowest score is crowned the winner of the round.
the person with the highest total of theround shuffles for the next round.
the person with the lowest total of around plays first in the next round.
the elimination score can be set anywhere, but 200 has always proven sufficient. if a player gets exactly 200 points, they go back down to 150.
when a player crosses that threshold, they must shuffle for the rest of the players for one round. this is the "goodbye shuffle".
the game is played until only one person does not have 200 or more points.
i was playing it this weekend when i found that i needed faster access to the rule book.
also, this is adapted from an email i sent.
the goal of the game is to have less points than everybody else.
each card is worth its face value.
face cards are worth 11,
and
jokers are worth whatever you want, including, but not limited to 0.
you need 4 people in order to make the game any fun.
you can play with 5, but if more, you can use 2 decks.
deal 5 cards to each person.
flip top card of rest-of-deck over for possible use by the first person.
place this card next to rest-of-deck.
for the first round, the person left of the dealer goes first, but in subsequent rounds, the rules are more complex. we will get to that...
each player must discard a card AND THEN take a card to complete a turn (the order must be obeyed so as to avoid cheating and to preserve the aestheticly pleasing aspect of the game).
you may discard 1 card at a time, 2 cards of the same nominal value, or a run of 3 or more cards of the same suit.
discard cards, face-up, on the pile next to the undealt cards.
when drawing a card, a player may choose from the face-down pack of undealt cards, or the face-up pile of discarded cards.
if choosing from the face-down pack of undealt cards, a player may only choose the top card.
if choosing from the face-up pile of discarded cards, the player may only choose from the cards discarded by the previous player.
if the previous player threw down 1 card, the next player can choose that card.
if the previous player threw down doubles, the next player can choose either of those cards. however, if the previous player threw down a run, the next player may choose only the first or the last of that run.
for example, if a player throws down a run of 5, 6, joker, 8, then the next player may only pick up the 5 or the 8.
so the game goes on like this, with people hopefully getting rid of their high cards and gathering low cards; until...
if a person finds themselves with 11 or less (thus avoiding kamakaze cards) points in their hand, and feels that they have less points than everyoneelse, this person should, in their regular turn when they would make a play, display their cards while triumphantly screaming, "geneve".
at this point,all players count their cards and a scorekeeper logs these numbers.
if the person who screamed geneve had the lowest total, they get 0 points.
however, if the person who screamed geneve doesnt have the lowest score (including ties), 30 points are added to their existing score and the person who does have the lowest score is crowned the winner of the round.
the person with the highest total of theround shuffles for the next round.
the person with the lowest total of around plays first in the next round.
the elimination score can be set anywhere, but 200 has always proven sufficient. if a player gets exactly 200 points, they go back down to 150.
when a player crosses that threshold, they must shuffle for the rest of the players for one round. this is the "goodbye shuffle".
the game is played until only one person does not have 200 or more points.
Sunday, May 14, 2006
mouse assassin
I sat and wrote a couple of words before I heard the squeaking. When I looked behind the short file cabinet, two mice squirmed between electrical wires. They stopped when the great ears sensed me and their tails lay flat with the wires next to them. Two mice were too many, so, I jiggled the wires and looked to see them run out the other side. They didn’t, and then they walked back to where they had originally been until the great ears sensed me again and they stopped.
I grabbed a steel toed boot and removed all of the dust and debris that was under the computer table that the mice would have to run under to escape in that direction. I removed the broken printer of the girl who I sublet from, and cleared the dust that had been under that. Both the dust and the mouse were grey.
I jiggled the electrical wires once again and then jumped over to the newly cleared space so that I could intercept the mouse as it tied to escape into the kitchen. My instincts exceeded my expectations and I was quicker than the mouse and the great ears sensed me before the mouse emerged from its cover behind the short file cabinet.
One mouse escaped out through the other direction away from the short file cabinet, but the other did not. The escaped mouse would have the job of observing from elsewhere and then telling the story.
The solitary, slow mouse was resting underneath some wires and then I jiggled them once again and waited until I saw the mouse before jumping over to smash him. When the mouse came out from behind the short file cabinet I made a move but the great ears sensed me and even though he was not as instinctive as his former partner, this mouse still had the quickness of a mouse. The quickness is to be revered. Before I could get a good swipe in, he was back behind the short file cabinet. But before he could come out of the other side from where the faster mouse escaped, I was there with my boot in the air.
He stopped where the electrical wires were and the black dot eyes were wide opened. One more time I jiggled the wires and the mouse ran out and I let him run until he was too far to go back behind the short file cabinet and whacked the floor near the mouse. He was scared and jumped away from the wall where the mice like to run and into the middle of the floor which is more my terrain, but also his path was not as linear or predictable in the open space. I slammed my shoe on the floor near the mouse and the mouse remembered where the kitchen was and began running in that direction.
The kitchen floor is white and the mouse stood out and all of his three dimensions were up and the boot came down on his body. The bones can collapse when the mouse needs to enter a hole. He lay on his side and there was only a spot of blood where a bone had protruded the skin. The great ears were rigid, they would never lay flat. He was stopped only inches from the refridgerator.
I grabbed a steel toed boot and removed all of the dust and debris that was under the computer table that the mice would have to run under to escape in that direction. I removed the broken printer of the girl who I sublet from, and cleared the dust that had been under that. Both the dust and the mouse were grey.
I jiggled the electrical wires once again and then jumped over to the newly cleared space so that I could intercept the mouse as it tied to escape into the kitchen. My instincts exceeded my expectations and I was quicker than the mouse and the great ears sensed me before the mouse emerged from its cover behind the short file cabinet.
One mouse escaped out through the other direction away from the short file cabinet, but the other did not. The escaped mouse would have the job of observing from elsewhere and then telling the story.
The solitary, slow mouse was resting underneath some wires and then I jiggled them once again and waited until I saw the mouse before jumping over to smash him. When the mouse came out from behind the short file cabinet I made a move but the great ears sensed me and even though he was not as instinctive as his former partner, this mouse still had the quickness of a mouse. The quickness is to be revered. Before I could get a good swipe in, he was back behind the short file cabinet. But before he could come out of the other side from where the faster mouse escaped, I was there with my boot in the air.
He stopped where the electrical wires were and the black dot eyes were wide opened. One more time I jiggled the wires and the mouse ran out and I let him run until he was too far to go back behind the short file cabinet and whacked the floor near the mouse. He was scared and jumped away from the wall where the mice like to run and into the middle of the floor which is more my terrain, but also his path was not as linear or predictable in the open space. I slammed my shoe on the floor near the mouse and the mouse remembered where the kitchen was and began running in that direction.
The kitchen floor is white and the mouse stood out and all of his three dimensions were up and the boot came down on his body. The bones can collapse when the mouse needs to enter a hole. He lay on his side and there was only a spot of blood where a bone had protruded the skin. The great ears were rigid, they would never lay flat. He was stopped only inches from the refridgerator.
Monday, May 08, 2006
Sunday, May 07, 2006
run-ins
i had various slips of the tongue this weekend that highlight my overall character trait of being an outsider and not very much well connected with the goings on of other people who are not immidiately me. fine. but, to not cause the same problem, i will not post the intricacies of the mishaps on my blog. instead i will say this:
on friday i wrote a nice blog entry about the process of cooking greens. it was educational and fun, but i lost it in the process of spell checking - so dont ever expect me to do that again; spell check, that is. then i really lost it and began banging my head on the floor. later i may have drank some tequila. the next day i was on my friends roof eating hamburgers and i fell out of a hammock onto my knees while the sun was setting and the sky was purple and the clouds were orange. people didnt even laugh that much, but the wind was blowing. later, i accidentally kicked a mirror and it broke, now there is no mirror in my house. i kicked it on purpose, but it broke by accident. just now, at a restaurant, my chair fell over but i wasnt in it.
on friday, before all of this, i was leaving my job and walking down the street when i walked into a person who was my teacher in high school. she was walking down the street with her son and we looked at each other in the face for a couple of seconds so that it was right for us to say hello to each other even if we really deep down thought that it might be better to walk past because there might not be so much to say to this person and besides, we were pleased to be out of work and the sun was still out and we had on our mp3 players and our favorite song was playing and the day was just hitting its stride and we may have been walking in that stride. she was nice and she remembered my name, which i didnt expect, and her son was a nice kid, which i really didnt expect. i told my ex-teacher that i too was a teacher and that i was graduating soon and she was pleased about that because the subject i am graduating in was the one she taught. she told me that she too was still teaching but now she taught eighth grade, which is different but also less stressful in some ways. they were on their way to seeing the mets game and i happened to know a lot about the mets game that night and i spit out some facts and some nuances to look for as far as jose reyes needing to start walking more and cliff floyd needing to so something productive and i also pointed out to him that i once went to a met game where steve trachsel was pitching and i caught a foul ball and that since steve trachsel would be pitching that night, the kid should be on his toes. to that, the kid replied, "steve trachsel stinks", which i found not to be the correct attitude to go into a game with, so i replied,
"he isnt that bad. he is coming off of injury. besides, i caught the ball off of a ball that he hit." my ex teacher was impressed with the fact that her son was responding to me positively and suggested that i babysit for her son on some occasion or other. to that i grunted a sound of maybe.
just then, a woman walked up and approached my ex teacher and called her by her teacher name and was obviously another student of my high school. she was now living in boston and was just in town for a little while so it was doubly random that she ran into her ex-teacher. she was of the graduating class two years ahead of mine and the teacher did not remember her so well. then the woman went into rolodex mode, listing every person that she associated with 12 years ago and some that she still does, hoping to be remembered. while she did that, i talked more to the kid about baseball, but also with the air of an audition. out of the corner of my ear, i heard the woman mention the name of the sister of a friend of mine who i havent seen in a few years ever since he moved to the phillippenes and decided not to keep in touch with anybody. when i heard this, i said to her, "do you know m---?"
"yes, that is the brother of c---." so it was so. so i decided to wait around until they were done talking so that i could try to find out some information about my friend. their conversation took longer than i had expected, but the kid was a nice kid and when they were done, i walked with teh woman and asked her about m---. "last i heard about him, he was kind of trying to find himself. he went with c--- to the phillippenes."
"that was like 2 or 3 years ago."
she thought, "yeah, it must have been."
"he hasnt come back. he is still there, but i havent heard anything about him."
"oh, well, i know c--- said that he was trying to find himself, but that was a while ago." i had already decided that if i had to walk with this person until the next subway station, i would go into it and take the train, even though i wanted to walk a mile or so because it was nice out. the woman was nice but i didnt know her and didnt think that we would become friends because of this walk and also she didnt have any information on my friend so we were going to have to get into conversation about high school and who else we knew, but before any of that, she stopped and said that she had to turn the corner in order to get home and then offered me her card so that i could email her and then she could email me back the email address of her friend, c--- who would then be able to better answer any of the questions i may have been having about m---. so i was alone again and it was still warm and sunny, though there was more shade on the street then there had been and in order to walk in teh sun, i had to walk on a thin strip of sidewalk. but i walked about a mile and reset my mp3 player back to the beggining of the album that had been playing this whole time, quietly blasting through my headphone speakers, announcing my transience - and then took the train from there and got home with a wonderful idea to write a blog entry about how to cook greens.
on friday i wrote a nice blog entry about the process of cooking greens. it was educational and fun, but i lost it in the process of spell checking - so dont ever expect me to do that again; spell check, that is. then i really lost it and began banging my head on the floor. later i may have drank some tequila. the next day i was on my friends roof eating hamburgers and i fell out of a hammock onto my knees while the sun was setting and the sky was purple and the clouds were orange. people didnt even laugh that much, but the wind was blowing. later, i accidentally kicked a mirror and it broke, now there is no mirror in my house. i kicked it on purpose, but it broke by accident. just now, at a restaurant, my chair fell over but i wasnt in it.
on friday, before all of this, i was leaving my job and walking down the street when i walked into a person who was my teacher in high school. she was walking down the street with her son and we looked at each other in the face for a couple of seconds so that it was right for us to say hello to each other even if we really deep down thought that it might be better to walk past because there might not be so much to say to this person and besides, we were pleased to be out of work and the sun was still out and we had on our mp3 players and our favorite song was playing and the day was just hitting its stride and we may have been walking in that stride. she was nice and she remembered my name, which i didnt expect, and her son was a nice kid, which i really didnt expect. i told my ex-teacher that i too was a teacher and that i was graduating soon and she was pleased about that because the subject i am graduating in was the one she taught. she told me that she too was still teaching but now she taught eighth grade, which is different but also less stressful in some ways. they were on their way to seeing the mets game and i happened to know a lot about the mets game that night and i spit out some facts and some nuances to look for as far as jose reyes needing to start walking more and cliff floyd needing to so something productive and i also pointed out to him that i once went to a met game where steve trachsel was pitching and i caught a foul ball and that since steve trachsel would be pitching that night, the kid should be on his toes. to that, the kid replied, "steve trachsel stinks", which i found not to be the correct attitude to go into a game with, so i replied,
"he isnt that bad. he is coming off of injury. besides, i caught the ball off of a ball that he hit." my ex teacher was impressed with the fact that her son was responding to me positively and suggested that i babysit for her son on some occasion or other. to that i grunted a sound of maybe.
just then, a woman walked up and approached my ex teacher and called her by her teacher name and was obviously another student of my high school. she was now living in boston and was just in town for a little while so it was doubly random that she ran into her ex-teacher. she was of the graduating class two years ahead of mine and the teacher did not remember her so well. then the woman went into rolodex mode, listing every person that she associated with 12 years ago and some that she still does, hoping to be remembered. while she did that, i talked more to the kid about baseball, but also with the air of an audition. out of the corner of my ear, i heard the woman mention the name of the sister of a friend of mine who i havent seen in a few years ever since he moved to the phillippenes and decided not to keep in touch with anybody. when i heard this, i said to her, "do you know m---?"
"yes, that is the brother of c---." so it was so. so i decided to wait around until they were done talking so that i could try to find out some information about my friend. their conversation took longer than i had expected, but the kid was a nice kid and when they were done, i walked with teh woman and asked her about m---. "last i heard about him, he was kind of trying to find himself. he went with c--- to the phillippenes."
"that was like 2 or 3 years ago."
she thought, "yeah, it must have been."
"he hasnt come back. he is still there, but i havent heard anything about him."
"oh, well, i know c--- said that he was trying to find himself, but that was a while ago." i had already decided that if i had to walk with this person until the next subway station, i would go into it and take the train, even though i wanted to walk a mile or so because it was nice out. the woman was nice but i didnt know her and didnt think that we would become friends because of this walk and also she didnt have any information on my friend so we were going to have to get into conversation about high school and who else we knew, but before any of that, she stopped and said that she had to turn the corner in order to get home and then offered me her card so that i could email her and then she could email me back the email address of her friend, c--- who would then be able to better answer any of the questions i may have been having about m---. so i was alone again and it was still warm and sunny, though there was more shade on the street then there had been and in order to walk in teh sun, i had to walk on a thin strip of sidewalk. but i walked about a mile and reset my mp3 player back to the beggining of the album that had been playing this whole time, quietly blasting through my headphone speakers, announcing my transience - and then took the train from there and got home with a wonderful idea to write a blog entry about how to cook greens.
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