reasons

blogging is cool because you dont necessarily expect to hear back from people. there is a comment section but unless you are doing something extrordinary, there would not neecssarily be a reason to respond to what people say. there is the travel blog, where people say things like "wow, thats sounds cool" - the virtual equivalent of people on the side of the road tossing cups of water at runners during a marathon (let me preface this by saying that ive read exactly two blogs in my life). but a blog such as this one has been up through this point is not the type that elicits comment. i think if i were talking, about the things i am writing about, to a group of people at a party or on the train, then they would make noises that indicated that they understood what i was saying, but then move the conversation on to other topics. thats fine.

this is why it is not especially important to read on.

i was watching the oscars last night. somehow i get caught doing these things. see, i dont have cable so i cant just put on espn and expect to see sports, or put on comedy central and expect to laugh or put on cnn and expect to see news, etc. so i am therefore subject to the programming whims of the network, or otherwise forced to do interactive things such as emailing or in extreme circumstances, talking to my girlfriend while not surrounded by other various forms of entertaining media. she was all into the oscars, so we watched it. midway through, as usual, she fell asleep and then left me to be the one watching it. sure i could have changed the channel, but i am without remote control, which should be enough to imply that there is no way i would traverse the vast expanses of my living room, seeking the unknown. this is much how i have begun to watch invasion, 24, (previously) desperate housewives, etc. it is as such that it has come to my attention that my girlfriend is in fact praying-mantisizing me. using me to mate, and then effectively eating my head via forced overexposure to bad tv. cunningly, she sleeps and becomes well rested and strong as i am stuck watching actors blubber all over themselves, feeling guilty and resentful, thus unable to focus on other pertinent issues.

it is for that reason i have decided to tattoo the word pertinent issues onto my hand.

i teach college, which is fun. i like my class and, presumably, they like me. it is impossible that they all do, but as a group, i think they respond to what i say and try their hardest to be good students, which essentially means that they like me. like and dislike is of course irrelevant. what is relevant, insofar as you might be reading this blog is concerned, is that it is funny that people think they become experts on things. if i were to come across someone who was doing the same job i was, but not having a good time with it, i would somehow feel compelled to give them advice, as though i were a sage. what is there were a law that stated that people were no longer allowed to give advice to other people - the effects of previous advice giving having been given by those unqualified in 95% of cases thus leaving the world as a confusing mess - at least as far as the human mind is concerned. growing up has taught me to be especially aware of advice. mainly because i am now in a position to give it. if i can give advice, the whole system is flawed. this is not self depricating as much as it is simply a function of my realization that giving advice allows people to assume a posture of having never made a mistake.

this is why it is important to keep saying things like: "you gotta do what you gotta do" which usually assumes that the person has to do something ultimately harmful.

my girlfriend ofund a restaurant of extremely good quality yesterday. it was called teresas and it is on first avenue between 6th and 7th streets in manhattan. they have a brunch special that includes grapefruit and ever since i panicked and decided that spending any extraneous money other than to buy cds is evil, we had abandoned our proper, upwardly mobile (in taste, but not in career or living space, or dress) tradition of brunching (as opposed to the outright proletarian 'breakfast' or the alcoholess 'lunch.' somehow if you drink bloody marys at 'brunch' you are within reason, but if you do so at 'lunch' you might be an alcoholic. or maybe it is the consuming of alcohol in general that makes a brunch a brunch - much the same way as the consuming of alcohol makes 'going out' going out, ie. "im going out tonight."
"where are you going?"
"movies." see, that situation would never happen. a person who is going to the movies would not start by saying they were going out (unless they were later going ot be around alcohol) they would say "i am going to the movies tonight." 'out' refers only to places where alcohol is present.). teresas offers polish food and omlettes and stuff. i had sauerkraut perogies and an omlette. anna had a polish platter, which she generously and angelically shared with me (or, she was fattening me up so that i would be more sedentary so that i will offer up less reistance when she decides to remove my head) that consisted of fried cabbage, perogies, stuffed cabbage and kielbasa. yum. but then unyum because of the farts i was laying all day - and all night, and well until the morning. these were onion and cabbage and oil related farts. such a thing is an amazing occurance that is not properly revered in our culture. we know we all fart, but it is of course an unexamined occurance. we take it for granted that noxious fumes exit our ass on a fairly regular basis. surely there is a way to harness the power of a fart to make natural forms of energy. imagine a world where the more noxious a fart, the more energy it produces. places like teresas would be vastly popular and incidences of heart disease would skyrocket. or perhaps the noxious fumes of a fart can in fact disassemble difficult compounds.

this is why we should attatch tubes with meters to our asses.